Lord, I'm Tired

Help me, God. 
I don't know what to do. 
She is a sword 
stuck in my side. 
Much like what happened 
to Your Son. 
She twists and turns 
to wring more blood 
from my weak body ... 

I need your strength, 
I need your patience. 
I can't do this alone. 
I need you to guide me 
and I need your steady hand 
to hold my weary heart.
(c. 2002)

Note: I'm not really sure which "she" I was referring to. I have a pretty good idea because there was only one girl who really made my life miserable enough to warrant this kind of poem. Suffice it to say she was out of my life quickly and hasn't made another appearance. To my relief and probably hers as well. I do believe this is for KP.

Almost

When the pain 
strikes this deeply, 
it's more of a time 
to think 
than to cry. 
Because I wonder, 
'Why does it hurt 
to much to make 
my soul bleed?' 
You almost stole 
forever; 
You almost stole 
my dreams 
and smashed them 
at my dirty feet.
(2001)

Note: This was another poem written for RM regarding our almost relationship. There was almost something, almost heartache and almost pain. But it never happened. I was trying to figure out why it hurt so much when it was only ever almost.

Real-Life Hero

You sat me down 
and cleaned my dirty feet. 
Like Jesus 
you turned around 
and took my breath away. 
You showed me mercy 
and perfect love. 
You, like my Savior, 
gave me a reason to smile. 
What a friend 
to mend the hole, 
to sew up the tear 
that you made. 
What a friend ... 
and for all you are, 
I love you.
(2001)

Note: This was written after I graduated high school about a guy I'd gone to school with for years (think 3rd grade through graduation) and he played piano at my Catholic church but was not Catholic. We had many great discussions one summer and I came to realize that I loved him very much. He told me that he'd had a crush on me for years but as we got to know each other he realized that we were not meant to be together in any way other than as friends. He handled it very diplomatically and was very sweet about it. He's just about the only person I've ever met who is capable of that conversation! So this is for RM.