The Day Jesus Died

I kneel below Him. 
His blood drips down like tears. 
His crown of thorns 
sharply brings Him pain. 
He has refrained from crying thus far ... 
but as He yells out: 
"My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?!" 
He cries out of fear 
and loneliness and pain. 
Hurting He looks down at me; 
and for a moment, 
before God takes back His only Son, 
I see in Him myself: 
My insecurities, my failures 
my lack of self respect. 
We are one and the same; 
God made me, God made Him, 
we are family. 
His head sags at last and in anguish, I cry: 
"No! ... Come back! I FINALLY UNDERSTAND!"
(c. 2000)

Note: This was written after Adoration during a youth group retreat in high school. It was one of the most memorable and moving experiences of my life. If you don't know what Adoration is, here's a crash course. A priest brings the Body of Christ into the room in a monstrance (a large cross with a wafer (the blessed Body of Christ)) in a clear center. The process of Adoration is personal. You pray and worship in your own way. Eventually (usually after a set length of time) the priest will come and collect it and put it away. Also, the priest doesn't touch the monstrance with his hands, he uses a cloth. I don't know all the exact terminology so if I've gotten something wrong, please feel free to correct me.

Old Wounds

Standing here 
on the edge of Earth 
watching the water 
splash the dirt, 
I am reminded 
of how the world 
has worn me down 
and left me 
with deep wounds. 
Then I look up 
at the cloudy sky; 
There is an opening 
and the sun 
comes streaming down 
showering me 
with God's warmth, 
and I am reminded 
of how I was forgiven, 
and my wounds 
were filled with love.
(c. 2000)

Note: This was written on a retreat with the Life Teen Youth Group from my church, All Saints Catholic Church in Dallas, TX. I distinctly remember standing at the edge of the lake on a stormy day and these words bubbled up inside of me. Definitely a memorable day and a happy poem.

Satan's Gift

I am nothing but a dirty human- 
with human fears, human tears, 
problems,and a past to let go of. 
I have a human future, 
and even human desires. 
So how could an angel, 
so pure and fine as God, 
have loved me like you did? 
Your wings like snow; 
Your beautiful golden halo. 
My dirty hands; 
My red blood and mortal soul. 
When I cried my salty tears, 
You lifted me up 
and carried me to grace where I was happy. 
I then returned to mortal Earth 
and all these earthly problems. 
Why have you left? 
That sweet taste of heavenly love 
has left me aching for more of you.
(c. 1998)

Note: This was written a few years after the end of a relationship with the first boy I ever loved. It took me a long time to get over it. I chose to title it this way because it felt as though the relationship had a been an evil gift: something short and fleeting, nothing more than a tease. It was also written long enough after the end that it started to feel like I'd never love another person the same way. The religious themes are there because they were a big part of his life and mine. So this is for BP.